my lost smiles...

Many a time I remain the only companion of my shadow.
As I faithfully stay with her
She glares at me with those indolent eyes
And I pity her sad plight.
I stay so close to her, yet reach her not
And she groans with the ache of loneliness
That one thing that she is not used to.

OCEANS AND THOUGHTS

Caved in the arch of blue tides,
Ears resounding with the din of the waves,
Heart re-reverberating with the majesty of the ocean-----
Care, I long for a day; just a day...
To be there all along,
Soaring high and gliding down along with their power
From the morn that lits the horizon
Till dusk that shades the end behind me-
I long to be there, just for a day;
To see the vast blue surge high.
It purges my thoughts but ties my words deep...

The time is rolling and raising to great heights...some of achievement and some of depression. As I balance the rising perspective, the sky turns to be my horizon, expanding into infinity...

157. ARROW OF GOD

My new life began with GREAT EXPECTATIONS.
But soon I felt, I was in a WASTELAND.
I found myself WAITING FOR GODOT and
Wondering WHERE SHALL WE GO THIS SUMMER.
THAT LONG SILENCE of the new atmosphere
Made me feel that my dreams were GONE WITH THE WIND.
My ROOTS began to shake,
I lost all my SENSE AND SENSIBILITY
And felt that I was in THE DARK ROOM.
For sure I knew it was a PARADISE LOST,
And I thought ceaselessly of HOMECOMING.
But suddenly I heard an angel whisper,
“It would be bad unless SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER”.
I soon could see THE RAINBOW appearing,
And felt I must possess WINGS OF FIRE.
For like THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE,
I knew I must march to strike THE RIVALS.
29 July 2006

GAME OF LIFE

I am tricked into this game of life.
Care to hear something about it?
You could be one like me too,
So please do spare time to read this-

I remember telling my heavenly father
That I am no good at this.
He (has) sent me to this field, nevertheless.
It’s a maze, and I am trying to graze my way out.
I asked Him several times the rules, the methods-
He simply said that I’ll learn it by experience.
It’s the most difficult game.
I saw some take a cake walk
And simply make their way to triumph.
Is it some trick they know? I wondered.
I now took care to observe.
Yeh! It is simple. Just keep your balance.
Well, I thought it was splendid
And almost considered that I could be successful.
Not so, never, never, not so easy.

I tell myself at bed times, that morning would be different.
Different indeed, with many more hurdles.
Suppose I say, “oh god this person simply unnerves me.”
I realise I’ve made the greatest blunder.
I think god understands opposites.
So He keeps me in the company of that person
Until I lose my head and my temper.
But then, I lose, if I frown.
So I try to smile through my grief.
Never palatable though, I’ve to do this.
I wonder if I am doing the right thing
But here, in this game, the referee,
Never stops to tell you what’s right or wrong.
“EXPERIENCE,” I’ll grow old with it
But never get out of here.

Sometimes the sky is a crazy combination of clouds.
Somewhere a grey patch, somewhere white puffy ones,
Elsewhere its tainted yellow and it’s a streak yet on another side.
Life is such a mixture too.
From nowhere, I noticed, one day, a grey patch
Travel steadily and as though released like an arrow,
It darted into an expanse of white clouds-
The whole thing turned grey too.
So too, people in gloom, carry it around.
And turn everybody around gloomy.

The first phase of the game, for me, seemed easier.
Now in my second phase-
No. let me give it a good try.
You know! In this game, if you are hurt,
You can’t tell anyone but the referee?!
And He isn’t going to nurse you either.
He would rather teach you the golden rule
That enables you to play better.
And it is ENDURANCE.
If you learn this rule, you are halfway through.
Sometimes there are repeated hurdles
If you get over them, over and over again,
You’ve actually learnt yet another rule PERSEVERANCE.
At times there are botheration.
They annoy you and leave you famished.
Take care; these are tricks to outwit you.
But not if you know the rule of TOLERANCE.
Sometimes like pitfalls are these reverie trick.
If you can brush the past and LIVE IN THE PRESENT,
Then you can make a clean way through.
A warning comes out of experience
And it is well understood-
Never be an enthusiast with discontented people around.
They’ll never give your score even if you make a home run.
On the gallery of hooting and cheering crowds,
There are some to blow you off or pull you down,
It is then you must remember-POISE.
Make your move and don’t stop until you bump into someone.
And don’t stand still then, just go dashing through
Until you bump in again and the just go on.
Remember when you are out of the maze,
There are winners with a smile to greet you.
And it is only the referee who really matters.
Thus far, I’ve only figured out the rules-
To work it out and win…well, I wouldn’t be there to tell you.
11 September 2005

117. TENSION

It starts for everyone, I guess, in the stomach.
It probably churns the intestine and kneads it too.
The sensation then travels up straight.
It just knocks the heart and leaves it palpitating.
Then it is the ‘heart in the mouth’ feeling.
As we struggle to gulp it back,
Something shoots high up in the head.
The mind then feels like a ‘tabula rasa’.
Now the adrenaline is fully secreted,
From head to toe everything shakes.
Eyes miss everything but still sees,
Blood gushes to the ears and it turns red.
Water fails to stay in the mouth and it is dry.
Total unrest and uneasiness.
This phenomenon is termed ‘TENSION’.
17 November 2004

Aliteration

Trepidation tramples trembling man,
Fearful failure fancies he.

Nameless nervous nagging thought
Unrest useless usurps the brain.

Tension tedious, takes peace away
What worries waste our lives!
wrote it on 29 September 2004

KERALA

This is all about my rickety, wickety, jingly, wingly trip round God' own Country....
well, the sojourn was hot enough to bake a cake out of us, but we were saved. the train was almost a replica of a desert with the scorching heat and no oasis in our coach. That much was ok. after about 24 hours of travel Kerala welcomed us with a Hartaal banner. There we paraded with luck trailing our backs and by car, bus, and jeep we reached the pinnacle of rest, upper suryanelli, a cool and cozy niche. fatigue sung lullaby and we crept onto our beds, SNUG, with two huge and heavy wollen blankets all wrapped and tight.
The next morining surprisingly was bright for a place like that. We stayed indoors and lazed around. When we decided to take a stroll up and downhill, an elephant family decided to do the same too. So there came screeching fullstop to our adventure (misadventure) outside the safe niche.
The following day we captured nature in macro and micro forms with digital snap shots and goofed around. By 3.00 P.M. oooppppphhh started our dangerous travel trekking....we took an auto downhill. from there we took a jeep to Power house, from there we took a bus to poopara...from there we took an auto to nedumgandam and from there another bus to katapana........hey u folks reading this....it is not all that fun u know...up and down and round the hill. I couldnt even see a tree till the end of its branch nor a craeture til the end of its tail. That was the speed in which every means of transport flew us through. when we recahed katapana, it was almost supper time and our hollow shells sounded their bells. Soon the moon sank by the window and we zzzzzzed off.
Our next expedition was a trip to thekady. At 8.50 in the morning, we took a bus to Kumli. About 1 and a half hour journey. We then took an auto to reach the Boat riding spot. badluck grinned on our faces and we realised that the next ticket for boat ride would be available only at 1.00 and the ride would be at 2.00....Now is that enough....it was only 11.30, but eager people were all lined up...and so did we. we got our tickets and then quickly polished our lunch and set for the sail....the boat took us through the forest and we found quite a few wild animals...to name a few...........wild monkeys......wild deers.....wild bison.....wild elephants.....some wild birds....i have to add "wild" because it has to sound out of the ordinary....well that was it....but it was quite an interesting experience....2 hours round and round the river....we finally got back to take the rickety, wickety bus back to katapana.
The next morning we woke up at 4.00 to leave for ernakulam...we reached there by 10.00 that was another jingly wingly ride down the hills.....there we met frens, went round the beach, mattanchery, the jewish synagogue, the dutch palace and all such fancy places and spent the night a little out with frens.
The next awful day i had to say goodbye to board my tarin back to hyderabad....as the train wailed its horn, I climbed my way to the upper berth and stayed there the next 26 hours (except for short visits down the pole). finally my eyes welcomed the sunshine of secunderabad and the wift of hot hair blew my tresses violently....with a limca drink on my way i dragged my wobbly feet back to hostel much to the dislike of....................u know what i mean............:(

RAINBOW

A bent arch of colours I beheld on the sky.

Planted in one cloud and thrust into another.

Pleasant breeze calmed the mad rain,

The busy world had no time for this amazing display.

Lost in thought I bent my head low and went by

When I noticed a little girl gaze steadily,

I wondered what halted her at the middle of the road!

My eyes followed her gaze and there above I was blessed to see

The beauty which she had spotted.

Pastel shades of all the seven stood gently there

Gradually fading into the evening sky.

I walked my way keeping my gaze on the sky,

Now and then bumping into a two wheeler

But unfortunately no one followed the movements of my eyes,

I couldn’t make one other person admire the spectacle.

I shifted my glance from sky to the busy street,

Every vehicle sped by as if they were an ambulance

Carrying someone so ill...

Unfortunate indeed that the rainbow stood there

Noticed only by a few little girls.

A sober morning turned into a grey evening

When the sky cracked itself open,

To pour forth the rich bounty of water.

Heavy sheets of thin water streamed down from the skies.

Like cobweb threads hung in neat columns

The noisy cascade of rain broke through clouds to fall beneath.

Drops built one over the other,

Fell uniformly to wet the soil on earth.

The green trees seemed greener and

The soil was heavy with water.

Girls tip-toed their way

While boys jumped into slushy puddles.

A cool evening and a sober feeling.

hey all those who r gonna read ahead.........lotsa typos so try n understand what i meant to say......ok1i guess it wud be ok enough........

MALAYSIA TRULY ASIA

With all the great fuss that life created for this trip..........uh.....u know it was all so exciting every minute......when my vocal cord excersied i said all the sad things but my heart went on throbbing with the"this will happen rythm". well to trace the stroy down the line.............no that wud be a waste of time and even irrlevant as it might kill all the excitement.....u know the best part is the trip so i shall start off with that. Monal, Sudharshan and myself took our first flight from earth towards sky. and from there.......oh what a view.......we saw the earth.......a sight that i had much wanted to. had i got the window seat i would have simply looked at the supernatural scene that mystery of creation was displaying. foolish people by teh sides of the windows snored away their short opportunity to smile at the exapanse of ...........i dont know what to say. we safely landed at the biggest airport on earth.....KUALA LUMPUR.........am happy taht my fisrt international trip stayed with Asia........this is a consolation for all those who would make me feel that malaysia is not so great a place unlike.........London.............the US and so on..........ummmmmm. conference was the cause of our trip but fun was the result of it all. we had a fantastic........fantabulous........no fantabulor time there..........as the shady skies and sultry clouds swept over or complexions..........we rasied our heads to see the sky rocketing complexs built.........oppppppppphhhhhhhh what r these pppl upto! they simply build towers after towers......they stay........they work and do everything at such great HEIGHTS.........this is heights yaar.......real heights of being "on top of the world"........well there were lots of bulidings.........and some more buildings and a few more buildings..........evrywhere..........but the fun is u can still see the sky. the twin towers.......PETRONAS stands like the great great garndfather embrassing the whole social community within its sight. kamaal hai..........whicheevr corner u go u find the petronas just there..it appears...........u can never mis it. lovely man.........the architech needs a special applause here........leave the buildings..........ppl.......heights of discipline..........have u seen anyone in india wait in patient lines to get into the trains? heights of courtesy..........have u seen anyone in ur nighbourhood smile at every little opptunity! have u seen any shopkeeper so kind to u........and those in seats i mean all office holders...........their smiles would lighten all ur heaviness. we need to learn from them.......the structure of the city..........it looks like no one was there and then they drew the design of the city and built it all.......he roads and the rails r a pleasure to use...........there is much more i can say about this heigh city..........but am ina hurried temparament now........maybe another posting would do it all.............
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MY KEY NOTE ADDRESS

If I were but a soft clear cloud so light, so pure, so transparent; I would stretch and make myself lighter, to let the light pass through me.
If I were but a grey dense cloud so dark, so big, so splendid; I would increase my Intensity silently with my suppressed emotions.
Life gives us several opportune moments to show, adapt, learn and do a multitude of things for which we are blessed with a potential unknown to us. we need to dream big, believe bigger and our determination/ perseverance..............that should be the biggest..............

TEACHERS

When that wooden scale hit my knuckles
I could only scorn at you.
When on my knees under the sun I knelt,
I remember I wept too.
But thank you dear teacher for teaching me numbers and letters.

When letters chained to form words
And when numbers added and multiplied,
When bewilderment was all I could express,
It was you who solved the mystery.
Thank you, dear teacher, for guiding me.

You taught me clocks and calendars to read
And gave all that I was in need.
‘Excuse me’, ‘sorry’, and ‘thank you’.
Etiquettes and manners you taught me.
Love and care, you gave them to me.
Thank you, dear teacher, for being there for me.

Your motivation and encouragement,
Support and guidance
Kindness and firmness
And a plethora of things,
I thank you, dear teacher, for all that you have.

Bruise skin deep or heart be it,
Your understanding plasters the wounds.
The trust you have in me
And your belief that I will grow Big-
Thank you, dear teacher, for that has made me.

Your walk, your talk
Your style, your smile,
Perks my spirit every time.
A living model you are
And thank you, dear teacher, for all that you are.

A bouquet would contain very less,
A gift could be camouflaged with other things.
A shield or a cup is no better.
But what do I give you
to thank you, dear teacher?!
I give this, a humble offering-
I present myself to you.
Your dexterity and magic
Has made me a gift
And that, dear teacher, do I give to you.

I make you proud,
I make you happy,
I honour your efforts
And respect your name,
Big thanks to all my teachers who have made me.

CRAFTED NUANCES

When the night sky gave her farewell kiss
To the morning sky,
She left a blush on her face.
The blush shyly grew into a ball of exhilaration
And sent beams of happiness
All around the sphere.
With this awoke the chirpy winged-jewels,
Shaking the tree out of its slumber
And out they flew into the sky.
The birds in mad happiness darted everywhere,
And the blush grew wider
And coloured the life of that day.

Came evening and the dusk yawned wide
Into the night sky,
Dimming the blue deeper.
And slowly studding her with ornaments
Of bright little stars
In varied scattered patterns.
With this returned the winged-jewels,
To their cosy little nests
Swinging the tree to slumber.
Out rolled the queen of the late hours;
With her radiance, lit upThe darkness of life of that night